Mama, You Know I Love You

It’s almost been six years since you’ve gone, and still, barely a day escapes me without thinking of you. I remember six years ago perfectly. I didn’t know it at the time, but it would be our last Mothers Day together. I miss you every day, but on days like this I miss you even more. I will always thank God for the 25 years we had together. I better stop now, because just like at your homegoing service, I find myself unable to properly express myself without an abundance of tears.

Always loving you, and forever missing you,

Your number 4

Rushed Endings And Fired Up Kindles

Good news first: I finished my first draft about a month and a half ago.

Not so good news: I think I want to start all over. I made so many changes, that it has become a new story. I like the new direction, but I feel as if I need to flush it out more.  I will start the rewrite in about two weeks. I want to finish this so bad, but I want to finish it right.

Finishing the first draft was a problem for me. I think I was so ready to finish it that I rushed the ending. I know I hate reading a book and loving it, only for the ending to suck because it seemed the author grew bored and threw something together. So, like I said, rewrite.

On another note, I recently purchased a Kindle Fire, which means  I have recently purchased a lot of new books. That thing is so distracting, sometimes all I want to do is read. Since most of my print books are packed away, I constantly find myself pressing PURCHASE. Which is probably why I ended up rushing my ending, I couldn’t wait to kick back and read. Thankfully I was able to curb that behavior for a while.

Speaking of Kindle, I think I need a regular one for bed. I’m usually petrified that the KF will fall and hit me in the face. I love to read until I fall asleep, and honestly the KF puts a little too much weight on my sleepy limp wrists.

I’m going to try to make it a point to write in my blog more often. I have the WordPress app on my phone, but ever since I switched from Blackberry to Android I have lost interest. I really do hate touchscreen phones, because typing on them is a nightmare. Anyway, I will try to update more often.

Elle A.

In Line With Outlines

In my mind outlining is a good thing. Every article that I have read about outlines made it sound like a great thing. They all read just alike. “Some writers swear by it, and some run for the hills at the mention of it.” The “yays” make a good point about an outline being a road map. I would love to be so prepared to write that the actual writing process is like passing by landmarks, and arriving at my destination in a timely manner. Instead of the opposite, which is driving in circles, or having to repeatedly backup and take every direction until I find my way.

I don’t know if outlining will be for me, but I’m willing to try.
I remember in English our professor made us do them. She demanded we show our work, so she even graded our outlines and first drafts. Back then I wasn’t even remotely into English, and barely knew what I was doing. Some of the stuff that the professor taught us came flooding back and made sense once I took a more serious, yet, natural interest in writing.
Unfortunately, I don’t recall enough of the little things, so I’m reading everything I can get my hands on (including my college books).
I do remember that doing an outline for a paper definitely made the writing easier. So I’m about to do that now.

My only question now is, is it possible to outline a story after you’re halfway done? I hope so, because that’s exactly what I’m about to attempt.

Holiday Randomness

Lately I have been doing more reading than writing. That block I was experiencing is gone. I think my problem was that I had been writing in a journal almost daily, and then I stopped. When I stopped I noticed that my ideas stopped flowing. So I decided to start writing in my journal again.

My book that I’m writing is getting a major overhaul. Like I think I’ve said before, the more I learn, the more things I feel I have to change.

I have been a little distracted by several things lately though. First the holidays and everything that goes along with that. Plus battling viruses on my laptop. Which scared me, because at that time I had not backed up my work. Then my father passed away a few days after Thanksgiving. Which resulted in me learning that I have another sister. So as you can imagine writing hasn’t been my top priority lately.
However, as soon as I felt that I didn’t have time, new ideas for my book start pouring in. As a result of that, my Blackberry (which I’m writing this post on) is overloaded with my work. Work that I have yet to transfer to my laptop.
Last night was the first time in about a week that I sat for an extended period of time and just focused on writing.

This year has truly been a test for me (which I will cover in an end of the year post), but I really am happy that all my troubles this year led me to my true love of writing.

Happy holidays.

Elle

Focus On Me

One day I found myself without cable or an internet connection, and I wondered what I could do to pass the time. I had read every book on my bookshelf several times over. Which was about 75 books. I had even read my 15 e-books many times. Tired of reading the same books, I needed some more. Since spending a bunch of money on new books wasn’t really an option at that time, I did the next best thing. I sat down to my computer and started creating several stories.

I actually have always liked writing short stories, and going back months later and reading them as if I didn’t write them. I generally write the type of stories that I like to read. Although, I must admit, reading your own work is not the same as sitting down with a good book and getting into the storyline. Back in the day I briefly flirted with trying to write for a living. Of course I changed my mind.

That technology-free day led me to deciding that I needed another hobby, and writing a full length book would be it. I knew I wanted to write something slightly different from a lot of the books I had read. I just didn’t know what it actually was that I wanted to write about. So I just wrote whatever came to mind. Then I started keeping a notebook handy so that I could jot down ideas all day long. One night I woke up out of my sleep with this idea for my book. That’s the main book I have worked on ever since. In about a month I had written about 45,000 words, and then I hit a brick wall. The entire last chapter that I have written, I never liked from the moment I started typing it. I have yet to sit down and erase it, and write something else. I think I felt overwhelmed. I ignored my book for an entire month. Haven’t written one word since the beginning of September. I have however been reading books about writing books. Ideas keep pouring in about what to rewrite, omit, and add to my book. It’s a lot, but it’s exciting.

The other day it was raining and storming, and I finally proclaimed that it would be the day I got back to writing. Except my power decided to go out. Being without electricity for 24 whole hours let me see that I need to get busy. I really feel like storytelling and just being creative period is something that was a gift to me from God. A gift that I let lie dormant for so long.

When I was younger I had artistic abilities that even amazed me at times. Instead of doing anything with it, I focused my attention elsewhere. I have a knack for making things. I guess they call that being crafty. People have asked me about jewelry that I have made myself, wanting to buy it. Instead of doing something with that, I focused my attention elsewhere. I even have natural talent for doing hair. Yes, hair. Something I feel also involves creativity. Instead of doing something with that, you guessed it, I focused my attention elsewhere. The worst part about focusing my attention elsewhere was that it was NOT what I wanted at all. 

Back in July, when I turned the big 3-0, naturally I assessed my life. I asked God to give me focus. He did. I decided that come hell or high water, I was finally going to do something that I loved. I am D-O-N-E focusing my attention elsewhere. I’m looking at what I want, and I am grabbing it.

No, I am not a full-time writer. I wish. Yes, I have a regular job. I’m also about to go back to school, but I love writing so much that I am going to make time for it. Wish me luck. I hear that’s one of the main ingredients to being successful.

I have to clarify though, that I am not someone looking to write thinking I will get rich from writing some half-ass story, and plastering on Kindle or Nook. I’m going to write because I like it. If monetary success comes with that, great, if not, nothing changes for me. I love to create, and so I will. I think once I have invested some time in this, honing my skill, I will get in the long line of trying to seek a book deal. I read the blogs, I read authors stories. I realize it may never happen, but that’s not going to stop me. In fact, it inspires me. All the authors that write on the side, or are starving artists because they do what they love inspires me too. I have always wanted that type of passion about something, but like I said, I was always looking in the wrong places. Thinking about money, and what job pays the best guaranteed pay checks. Many people in the medical field can certainly attest to going into a certain profession strictly for the money. I don’t want to do that anymore. Of course i’ll keep working to pay my bills, but writing is now my outlet. My stress reliever.

After deciding that I want to try my hand at writing books, I have SO much more respect for authors. Like I said before, I have been a reader my whole life. I can remember reading Dr. Seuss and later ‘Tales Of a Fourth Grade Nothing’ and so on. However, I never put much thought into what all went into creating the book. My hat is definitely off to authors who did this with typewriters, and before then, pens.

I consider writing a dream deferred. If anyone out there has put off doing something that they really enjoy, you know where I am coming from.

Elle A.